A puppy walks into a bar...

A puppie walks into a bar, but doesn't do itself any real harm. It does get a little spooked and pees on the floor. The bartender leans over the bar and is looking down at the puppy which is now standing in the pee and the puppy doesn't know the bartender's there, it's just looking around, quivering like puppies sometimes do and the bartender says "Hey mac, this is a bar, not a restroom. If you're going to piss on my floor you can get out." The puppy looks up and sees the bartender for the first time and vomits. Milk and puppy food. The puppy was kind of chubby, but by the time it was finished vomiting it was looking lean. The bartender storms around the bar. He's going to kick the puppy out. Literally. With his foot. And he's coming up to the puppy and the puppy holds up a paw, signalling him to wait. The bartender is taken aback. Such a human gesture, and it had such a solemn look on its face too. So the bartender is standing there, and the puppy has got its paw up and then, still with its paw up, it squats and drops a tiny little puppy turd on the floor, between the pee and the vomit. The bartender rushes the puppy, the puppy turns and runs out of the bar and the bartender chases the puppy and the puppy runs out into the road, and the bartender runs after him and the puppy dodges a car but the bartender isn't fast enough and he is hit by the car and he goes flying over the top of the car, bouncing of the windscreen and the roof and landing heavily on the road. He's unconscious, he's bleeding all over the place. And the puppy runs over to him and starts licking his face because the puppy is lost and tired and hungry.